Two houses would likely be a bit of a stretch financially for most of us. Fortunately, there are less expensive ways to get a bit of space for your personal well being and that of your relationship. You can take a break and travel solo.

The right to be solo is for everyone.
Single people have no trouble enjoying their right to be solo.  They simply ask themselves: is this trip one for friends or is it my personal adventure? It’s up to them.

People who are coupled can sometimes struggle with their right to be solo. Yet very often it is these people who need a bit of time alone more than any. With responsibilities for children and a partner and possibly parents, they may never find time for themselves. They need a bit of solo time  for renewal.

I’ve also known more than one couple like Diego and Frida. Unwilling to live without their partner, yet frustrated when they have too much time together. These people have planned time apart. Solo travel is their way of meeting their personal needs.

Reclaiming the right.
There’s nothing odd about needing some time alone. Children do it all the time. They seem to know instinctively when they need to shut down, read a book, play a solitary game or just sit in a tree and stare into space. Adults need that time too. We just have to learn how to listen to our needs. Listen and take a bit of time solo.

Please tell me…
How do you tell your partner you want to travel solo.

An upgrade to a small (really small) motorhome has some appeal.

This summer I camped for the first time alone. I have camped for years and I love being outside all day long. I love hiking, a hammock and good book, building a fire… I love rambling the day away with no chore other than cooking and eating.

Now, to be clear, I don’t do interior camping. That is “true” camping in the eyes of serious hikers and canoeists.  I do the lowly car camping. But for me, the now solo camper, it’s safer than going off into the woods alone.

But is it safe?
As a solo woman traveler, I wonder how safe it is to live in a nylon house. There truly is nothing physical protecting me. What is protecting me is a code of ethics that keeps all campgrounds safe. People respect one another and their gear. Simple as that.

However, almost 20 years ago now, I experienced that code broken when some kids stole our cooler. The value of the loss wasn’t the issue. It was the breach of the code that was appalling. It was unheard of. How could they do such a thing?

So I have this in mind when I think of traveling and camping alone. The code only has to be broken once for an unpleasant result. Ultimately, I think that my ideal would be to camp using a small mobilehome – one similar to what we traveled in as a family during the long-term trip in Europe.

This VW Pop-up was our home for most of the 10 months we were on the road.

Renting a motorhome or camper
While camping is inexpensive, renting a motorhome can be quite expensive. However, if you go on the off-season it can be affordable. When we camped our way through Europe, the VW Pop-up cost the same for 10 months in the off season as it did for a few weeks in peak season. Amazing!

I’m hoping to make it to the UK again this fall. Last time I took Britrail everywhere, from Cambridge to the Lake District (beautiful, part of the National Trust) to Bath and then London. This year I’d like to explore more National Trust lands. I’m sure that, especially in the fall, there will be plenty of motorhomes for hire that are available at a good price.  So I’ll look into this and, if I make this trip, it will be a completely different Britain that I experience.

It’s kind of funny. If I don’t speak the language that’s spinning around me, I automatically speak French.

It’s not that I’m hoping that someone will understand French. It’s some crossed wire in my brain that says “if I can’t understand it, it must be French”. And it just comes out of my mouth if I don’t catch it in time.  Another traveler recently confessed to the same phenomenon only for him, the optional language is Spanish.

Clearly, I don’t have an ear for languages. Yet, I do manage to travel places where the language doesn’t resemble English at all. It can be done.

Solo travel when you don’t speak the language.
It’s usually recommended that first time solo travelers go to countries where they speak the language. After all, language is your life line for safety, food and shelter.

But when you’re ready to go a bit farther afield and discover the adventure that awaits in less familiar cultures, it’s important to have a strategy for the language issue.

So I give you… 10 tips for travel in a foreign language.

1. Learn the basics – at minimum learn to say please, thank you and  hello in the local language before you go.
2. Use hand gestures and sounds to get your point across. Read the Kwintessental guides to etiquette in other countries to ensure that your gestures and sounds are not insulting.
3. Have important details on a card in your wallet written in the local language – the address of your accommodation, the telephone number, your name and a contact person in case of emergency.
4. Carry a phrase book. I know, it’s old school but for many people it offers a level of comfort that other options don’t. You could also save a bit of money by researching basic phrases on the web and printing them on a sheet of paper before you go.
5. Go to iTunes and download one of many translation apps.
6. If you make a local friend at a coffee shop or grocery store, recruit them to be your teacher. Try to add a few, practical words to your vocabulary every day.
7. Learn as you go. Use the phrase books as a crash course in the language. Extract the most important words – the nouns and verbs — and use them to communicate like a young child does, with very simple phrases.
8. If you have the cash, hire an interpreter for special situations.
9. Be patient, stand back and observe. Many questions can be answered without speaking.
10. Build language lessons into your travels. Immersion into a culture and language is the best way to learn.

Number 11 comes from Jeffery, a member of the Solo Travel Society on Facebook.

11. Draw pictures. Whether on paper or in the dirt you learn a lot – you can  even get directions as he did by drawing pictures in the sand in the middle of nowhere, Cuba.

On a solo road trip, driving at night from New York City to Cape Cod, I was listening to the fantastic National Public Radio available in the U.S. I’m not sure what the program was but I was sure to note the person being interviewed. Chimamanda Adichie was speaking about the danger of a single story. (You can view her presentation on the topic in the TED Talk video on the right.)

She explained that when we are inundated with one story about a people via the media, those people become one-dimensional. They are all poor or uneducated or radical or, or, or… In fact, this is not possible. All cultures have their challenges and joys if we take the time to look.

It got me thinking about what Mark Twain said: “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”

Why does travel strike a fatal blow to such problems? I believe it’s because it forces us to observe and integrate multiple stories about the people/nations we encounter.

The value of the many stories I gather as a traveler – not travel tales but the stories of the people I meet — inform my understanding of the world.

Next month, Meet Plan Go, an event to inspire and encourage long term travel (the type of travel that could never produce one single dangerous story) will be held on September 14th in 13 cities across North America. I’ve already written once on why this is such an important event in the post Should I Stay or Should I Go. The opportunity to gather a rich understanding of the world is another reason to attend Meet Plan Go and prepare for your trip of a lifetime.

To give you examples of how long term travel challenges the danger of the single story, I asked my fellow MPG hosts to give a short example of their own. I asked what surprises they encountered along the way. And how did travel produce multiple stories to round out their understanding of the world. Here are the responses.

Mike Cooney, Cooney World Adventure and host of MPG host of Orlando
During an around the world trek that ended in 2009, my family and I arrived in Vietnam with a predetermined view of communism, and left with a completely different opinion.

Vietnam’s form of capitalism would give any Western version a run for its money.  The sheer number of “mom and pop” shops at the markets and along the streets is overwhelming.  It proves that if given enough time, politics, ideology and overall quality of life can and does reach equilibrium.  Vietnam is a great example of this phenomenon, which is powered by the human spirit, determination and patients.  You can more at This is Not Your Father’s Communist Country.

Granada

Kirk Horsted, BreakAway and host of MPG Minneapolis
Whenever I return, folks ask, “What was the best thing about your big trip?” They don’t get it.  They want only the “single story.”  (Or—more likely—they just want me to shut up!)

Several weeks on the island of Grenada in three distinctly different locations inspires endless stories.  Grenada is third-world, but the residents are rich with food, history, wisdom, and love.

In my mind’s eye, I see a colorful blur of fishing, swimming, sailing.  Eating giant starfruit, armadillo, and stews.  Lounging with locals, sailors, and Europeans.  Being white on a black island yet feeling no fear.  Finding new friends, rhythms, and bliss.

Jeff Jung, Career Break Secrets and host of MPG Austin. Twitter, Facebook, YouTube
I arrived to my eco-camp in the Ecuadorean Amazon after the three-hour boat trip down the Napo river. This wasn’t a must-do trip for me but I found a cheap last-minute deal and decided, why not? At that point of my trip, I hadn’t been on the road very long and the thought of communing with the Amazon rainforest and its spiders, snakes and who knew what else did not thrill me. But, I also felt I needed to step out of my comfort zone.

Despite being welcomed by a large tarantula hanging out above my bed, I didn’t want to leave the camp on my fourth and final day. When the tarantula was escorted out of my cabin, so too was my squeamishness.  Not only did I commune with nature, I marveled at it.  Being surrounded by ants, monkeys, birds, butterflies, caiman and pirana renewed me rather than intimidated me. I learned that many of the assumptions I carry around are irrational and I’ll never know which ones are unless I challenge them head on.

Laos

Michaela Potter, Briefcase to Backpack and co-host of MPG New York City.
“I knew very little about Laos before venturing there on my 2007 career break. But having spent time in the chaotic-ness of Cambodia and Vietnam in previous travels, I didn’t expect to find the people of Laos so warm, funny, laid-back, and intelligent. Because it is not a popular destination in SE Asia, I was surprised by how many people we interacted with who had a great grasp of the English language – even better than most people in tourist-rich Thailand. Even tribe people, whose first language wasn’t even Lao, not only understood English, but also understood our sense of humor, which is often lost in translation. And waiters/students whose yearly income was $25 understood US economic policies better than I ever would. Just goes to show that you don’t have to be rich (or come from a rich nation) to strive for better education and global understanding. How many Americans even know where Laos is, or that it is the most bombed nation in the world to have never been at war because of America?

Sherry Ott, Briefcase to Backpack and co-host of MPG New York City. Blog – Ottsworld + Global Photography On Twitter @Ottsworld
First of all I think that long term travel really only challenges the danger of the single story if you are willing to get open up your mind to accepting the alternate stories. It takes traveling slowly; having your stereotypes be challenged; being observant.  I still remember the first time I traveled in a Muslim country and I went into a Mosque and thinking, how could all of these people be ‘wrong’; whole countries can’t be ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’.  The same thought struck me when I went to Asia and saw all of the Buddhists.  It made me really start to think about religion and what the core beliefs are.  Here’s the kicker…we all really want the same thing; happiness, safety, family, and do unto others as you would have done unto you.

My biggest surprise in uncovering a culture and breaking down stereotypes was when I was in China.  I had been traveling there for about 3 weeks, and it finally dawned on me – I never saw anyone eating a fortune cookie, nor selling one, nor referring to one.    I asked my guide why I never saw fortune cookies thinking maybe they were only seen in certain provinces of China.  He then told me that fortune cookies weren’t Chinese!  Wait a minute…they have to be Chinese…right?  Not so – most of the research actually tracks their creation back to the US and San Francisco to be exact.

Travel is the best education possible.  In the 4 years I’ve been doing it, I feel like my brain is a sponge, taking in new sites, smells, rituals that I never even knew about.

Lisa Lubin, LLWorldTour and host of MPG Chicago
One of my travel stories is not location specific. It affects all societies. Homelessness. While traveling in London, I volunteered for a week between Christmas and New Years with Crisis Christmas, an amazing program that not only shelters people in need during the holidays, but also provides fun, medical attention, and just simple human contact. I loved it. We often think of the homeless as drunk or destitute people that just don’t try hard enough. By spending a week with ‘these people’ I could see for myself that they were truly from all walks of life, all kinds, and going through all different kinds of struggles.  In just a few days, I knew many by name and they were now my friends. It was an amazing experience, one I will never forget and the main reason thousands of volunteers go back every single year. You can read more in Lisa’s post “The True Meaning of Christmas”.

Alisha, Small World Pursuits and co-host of MPG Dallas. Twitter: @alishaamr
I wanted to find out for myself about a part of the world I had never explored. I made my decision to go to South America. Chimamanda Adichie speaks about hearing how poor a family was, and that it was impossible for her to see them as anything but poor. I felt the same way here in The States. Always, I had heard only stories of poverty and misfortune in South America. I only had single stories. I soon realized that all we have are merely notions of what we think about others when there is no experience. I was surprised by the hospitality, education level, willingness to learn, the quality of life that most were able to live. It’s a pity that for so long I had misperceived notions. I have stories of people, of religions, of holidays, of truth.  This is the reason I travel. For freedom, for understanding, to constantly round out my understanding of the world.

Elizabeth Pagano

Elizabeth Pagano, Your Sabbatical and co-host of MPG Atlanta
“I sailed away on a small boat with my mother at age 31, looking for answers to my life’s questions at the time – Should I marry? What work am I called to do? Will children add joy? We sailed for six months, and I never found the answers. In fact, I returned to land life with more questions than I’d left with. But I also returned with a widened and deeper perspective of the world, as well as greater self-confidence. And that’s really what I needed all along.” Read more.

Lillie Marshall, AroundTheWorldL.com and host of MPG Boston.
I’m a Boston Public Schools teacher of 6 years, and Boston schools and students were all I knew.  Then I took a leave of absence from BPS to travel around the world for 9 months, and spent 3 of those months volunteer teaching in Ghana.  What an eye-opener as an educator and an American!  The students and teachers I worked with in Ghana were the best I’ve encountered in my life: hard-working, respectful, kind, and incredibly sincere.  I returned to Boston with new, sky-high standards for what excellence in learning and teaching looks like.

For those dreaming about long term travel, Meet Plan Go is an opportunity to MEET inspirational speakers and like-minded travelers; get motivation, contacts and resources to PLAN the trip of a lifetime; and start taking concrete steps forward to GO on that global adventure. It’s a free event. Please go to Meet Plan Go to find an MPG event near you. Though it is free, registration is required.

The companion post for this photo is:

Kissed by the Blues

Click on the title above to have a read.

This is from BB Kings on Beale Street, Memphis, TN. The best blues I saw was actually in Jackson.

You may also be interested in Women Traveling Alone Part 1 – Tips and Women Traveling Alone Part II – Destinations.

A twitter friend, @DSXmac, told me that she heard a woman say that all women should travel alone before they get married.

Interesting comment. While I don’t like the “should” word – it’s quite judgmental in my mind, — going solo is a good idea for women — and men — at just about any stage of life. Whether you’ve never been married, are married with kids, divorced, widowed, partnered with an empty nest… here are some great reasons to travel solo.

7 Reasons to Go

1. Discover yourself as your discover the world – before you get tied down, learn self-reliance, decision-making and how to organize your time.
2. Do what you want to do when you want to do it.
3. Have a last hurrah before you have children.
4. Discover who you are when you’re not responsible for children or a partner
5. Take a break from endless daily responsibilities and come back refreshed.
6. Build confidence after a divorce or loss.
7. Eat dessert first – do anything you want to do without being judged.

At the end of the snorkeling run at the mouth of the Cenote.

Zen can only be experienced solo. Zen is about being totally aware of now – who you are, what you feel in the present. The past and the future don’t matter. Neither do others outside yourself. Whether you are traveling with people or not, Zen travel is solo travel.

I have a mind that dances from one thought to the next very quickly. To keep it in the moment is almost impossible. On my recent trip to the Riviera Maya and the Hacienda Tres Rios resort (a big thank you to them for sponsoring this trip), I traveled both to the present (life was going in far too many directions before I left) and in the present. Two very unique activities offered as part of this all-inclusive resort made this possible in very different ways.

The Sense Adventure Tour
The trip I was on included seven other bloggers. All of us did the Sense Adventure Tour and our response to it ranged dramatically. One person really hated it. Two others didn’t mind it but it wasn’t there thing. A few found it transporting in a meditative way. Me? I found Zen, the present, in childlike delight.

The Sense Adventure Tour is changed for each group but the basic idea is the same. You are led blindfolded through a series of experiences that draw on your sense of touch, sight and sound. You experience earth, water wind and fire through your senses other than taste and sight. I found it magical. Never knowing what was going to happen next I released myself to the process and lived in the present. Zen.

Snorkeling the Cenote
Snorkeling is almost the opposite of the senses tour. Instead of shutting off sight, you shut off sound. With your ears underwater you see what’s not seen as we live on land. The fish, crabs, the fallen trees, flora… this magical look into another world is mesmerizing. We snorkeled 800 meters (2400 feet) down river, floating with the river’s current, trusting that, without any thought, we would end up in the right place. Between trusting the river and being a voyeur on its world, my thoughts were stilled, I lived the present — Zen travel.

For a completely different take on the experience read Landloper’s “The Ancient Art of Lentil Torture in Mexico’s Riviera Maya“.

I listened to an audio book of Don Quixote on a 1 month trip in Spain. It’s amazing how the language of this book permeates literature and daily life.  Cervantes is credited with such common sayings as “the kettle calling the pot black”, “the proof of the pudding”, “tilting at windmills”… Yes, Don Quixote is a book of significance in popular culture even today.

So it’s not surprising that there would be a statue honoring Cervantes. In fact, there are many such statues  in many different cities.  What is surprising is the design of this particular statue.

The more common representation of the knight errant and his squire has Quixote on a horse and Panza on a donkey. This statue shows Panza carrying Quixote.

There is a very direct honesty about this representation. In reality, the nobility, the leaders and game-changes (and the somewhat madmen) of history who have books, buildings, parks… named after them, achieved their status only with the help of many minor characters. The Sancho Panzas of the world don’t merely walk beside them, they carry them.

This statue could certainly have been placed in a more prominent spot in Valencia. It’s a wonderful reminder to the traveler to take as much if not more pleasure connecting with people like Sancho Panza as well as those like Don Quioxtes.

Thanks to the Region of Valencia for making my trip to their city possible.

That’s what I saw on my visit to Valencia. Founded in the 2nd century CE, it is the third largest city in Spain. It’s known for the Mercado Central, one of the largest markets in Europe, the Silk Exchange (Llotja de la Seda) which is a testament to the cities historic importance in terms of trade and commerce as well as a world heritage site, and the ultra modern City of Arts and Sciences which would take at least a day to do any justice – though I’m sure you could spend many days there. And, of course, Valencia is know for paella. Fabulous!

Valencia was great for solo travel. It’s safe and there is plenty to do.

Here’s my day in pictures.

The Mercado Central - The Sweets

The Mercado Central- the seafood

Inside the Silk Exchange

Institut Valencià d'Art Modern - the museum of modern art. The work is by British artist Julian Opie. (Thanks to reader Elizabeth for this update.)

The Ecopark is many kilometers long and winds around half of the old city.

View of Quart Towers from the Ecopark - one of the 12 doors that was part of the ancient City Walls.

These are some of the ultra modern buildings of the City of Arts and Sciences. They are outside the old city.

As I say, there is a lot of variety in Valencia!

A solo traveler on a Gap Adventures trip.

The single supplement is the bane of solo travelers who want to take a vacation and relax on a tour, a cruise or at a resort.

While I get the economics of it, this idea of paying more because you’re only half of a couple is counter intuitive , frustrating and sometimes paralyzing.

This past Sunday I was quoted in the LA Times giving one tip on how to avoid the supplement. I have a few more. In fact, I have 7 ways to help single travelers equate package travel with budget travel.

Here they are:

1. Google Alerts: When you start dreaming about a trip, create a Google Alert for a few destinations and the term “single supplement waived”.For example: “Caribbean resort single supplement waived”.  When a notice that the single supplement is waived at a Caribbean resort goes up on the web, you’ll receive an email alert from Google.
2. Timing and Asking: Book your package either a long way out from your departure date or at the last minute.  If it doesn’t say that the single supplement is waived request that it be waived. Depending on their confidence in selling out the package, they may do so. Of course, it helps if you’re willing to walk away from the deal if you don’t get what you want.
3. Pairing You Up: Some tour companies, especially adventure tour companies like GAP Adventures, tend to waive the single supplement if you’re willing to share accommodation with another person of the same gender.  Being paired up with someone isn’t my first choice but it can add an exciting wild card to a trip and I expect would work out more often than not.
4. Finding a Travel Partner: If the travel company you want to go with doesn’t offer this matching service, you may find a travel partner through friends, Facebook or other specialty sites on the web. Simply Google “find a travel partner” and you’ll find many options. But please, don’t just go with anyone. Be picky about who you’ll spend your travel time with and how you’ll spend it. If you’re just sharing a room and not the day, it will be a lot easier.
5. Find a Deal so Great…: Find a deal so great that the single supplement isn’t really an issue. To find the best website for deals from your location just Google “travel deals”. You may still have to pay a supplement but if you find a screaming deal it won’t be quite so painful.
6. Go on the Shoulder Season: The off-season is usually “off” for a reason.  But the shoulder season can be a spectacular time to travel. With less crowds it can be more enjoyable and you may be more successful in negotiating away the single supplement.
7. Keep on an Eye on the Solo Travel Deals page: I try to keep this page current with solo travel deals I find online using a number of Google Alerts. I hope it is of help.

The single supplement mostly applies to package travel. Alternatively, you can avoid package travel all together. Part II of this series is on saving travel money by travel hacking. Watch for it next week.