Rules for Romance (read Sex) on the Road

Love statue

I suggest caution when including romance and sex in your travels.

Sex is a natural instinct and a primal motivator.

Solo travel frees one of  inhibitions that control life at home.

Unfortunately, the  combination of these two can be complicated and, worse, dangerous. It’s important to have some rules for sex on the road.

Caution – Sex and Solo Travel

First the cautionary notes:

  1. You don’t know a stranger. And anyone you’ve just met – whether it’s been an hour, a day or a bit longer – is a stranger. You don’t know their values, You don’t know their motives. Even if all seems great, they could be playing you. By finding a private place for sex you are putting yourself in danger. (On a trip to Paris I avoided a very dangerous situation by staying in public. Please have a read of “Caught in a Con Game“.)
  2. Whether it’s another English speaking country or one with not a word in common, you are in another culture and you won’t be able to read the behavior of that enticing person properly. You are out of your element. Take 10 years off of your social intelligence and assume that your judgment is poor.
  3. You have no back up – no friends in the area or family to call. You have no one who knows this person and to confirm that they are safe. Another reason for caution.
  4. Disease contracted through sex is a big issue.

Safety – Sex and Solo Travel

It’s not much fun but it is likely a good idea: learn how to say no. Abstinence is definitely the safest choice! But, if after assessing the situation with a somewhat clear head and within the cautionary notes above, you decide to go for it, please do so safely. Here are a few safety tips

  1. Sex doesn’t typically take place in public. If you’re going into a private space with someone you’ve only met recently, let someone responsible know. Don’t be shy. Text a friend or tell the desk clerk. And let your prospective partner be aware that you are doing so. There is nothing like being seen to increase safety.
  2. Be aware of  the diseases you can contract sexually including:
    • HIV / AIDS is transmitted both sexually and via blood
    • hepatitis B is also a sexually and blood transmitted disease
    • gonorrhoea
    • syphilis
    • herpes
    • chlamydia
    • warts
    • recently oral sex has been linked to mouth cancer due to the human papilloma viruses.
  3. Consider being vaccinated for Hepatitis A and B as well as the human papilloma virus (HPV) which causes conditions such as genital warts and cancer.
  4. Practice safe sex. Always use condoms – take condoms from home so that you know they are of good quality.
  5. If you have exposed yourself to unsafe sex, woman should take a pregnancy test. Everyone should go to a clinic to be tested for disease.
  6. Limit your number of partners.

Temptation! Yes, it can be tempting sometimes to get involved with someone when traveling but for the sake of your health and your life, it is advisable to play safe.

(Disclaimer: I’m not an expert. Please get advice from your doctor if you include sex in your travel activities.)

  • Sarah Harvey

    not every one is out to rape someone. consented sex abroad can be a very … deep.. travel experience! !

  • A Bruns

    Yes, let’s trash talk someone for their personal sexual choices. She’s such a moron, but for trusting a prude. At least you were honest about that part. What a judgemental shrew. Of course this article is full of paranoia and disdain for sex. Women like you are why men cheat on you. In the dark, in bed, under the blankets, right?? You’re the one who is wrong here but prudes never think so.

  • seductionsextravel

    Enjoy your travels but stay safe. I love to travel to other countries to experience sexual adventures and to have sex with foreign women but I always have a few condoms with me. I don’t want to die because of my hobby. Even if it is controversy: Seduction and sex are the main reasons why I love to explore the world.

  • Upforfun

    what a prude!

  • puertoricoistheplace

    Great advise. In addition women should be aware of the amount of alcohol they consume, so they can have a clear head, to do the right thing.

  • Spinster

    Yep, Shannon is correct. I’ve studied abroad before, as well as volunteered abroad, and there was always more than 1 woman who’d sleep with the locals. There were never questions about STD testing, going to get tested together, none of that. I could tell you some stories. 😐

    I just thought of something else that I’ve seen happen during my travels. Some men (and women too) are trying to leave their respective countries, so they’ll throw on the charm to get married – citizenship, here they come!. I know of at least 2 instances during my studies abroad where this happened.

    People need to think before acting. The e-mails you’ve received say one thing – taking risks such as these can mean the difference between life & death. Literally.

  • solotraveler

    Thanks for responding and thanks for the eye-opening stat.

  • Shannon

    I agree. I am in my mid 30’s, I am a little more cautious now then I was when I was younger. Luckily nothing bad happened, but I have been in situations that could have turned out differently. In the US 1 out of every 4 teen girls has an STD. That is a scary statistic. My biggest concern when meeting some foreign guy, he has no reason to be honest with me. None. When first meeting someone I don’t know if I am just a piece of meat to them or if he is really interested in who I am. That takes a while to discern. I rather be safe then sorry.

  • Spinster

    Yes. A man on every continent (unless she gets married, in which case I’d assume that she aims to have sex with her husband on every continent). And she’s such a moron that she means what she said. (So glad I cut her off.) She’s so into sex that she doesn’t think of the consequences.

    Another risk I’d add is STDs. You don’t know who has what or who’s been tested for what, if anything at all. And maybe this is a stretch, but what about pregnancy?

    Forgive ME for being prudish. 😐 Too much to lose.

  • solotraveler

    Evelyn is a wise woman. These points had to be mentioned within this month’s theme. Thanks for adding your comments. (Really??? The objective is a man on every continent? Wow!?!)

  • Spinster

    I agree with these 100%. I’ve only met 1 person like that in my travels, and I wasn’t travelling solo so the person with me was a bit of a protecting factor. We didn’t even have sex; we only kissed – nothing more, and ALL of our interactions were in public. I haven’t seen him since I first met him 7 years ago. We still keep in touch from time to time; he just e-mailed me last week and said that he’s engaged. He sent me pictures of her and his fiancee is so pretty. :-)

    On the other hand, an ex-friend of mine has slept with men every single time she’s gone to another country. Every single time. With different men. She aims to have sex with men on each continent before she kicks the bucket; 4 down, 2 or 3 (Antarctica) to go. 😐 I just lived vicariously through her because it’s better than putting myself at risk. (She’s a moron and I’m no longer friends with her, but that’s another story.)

    Personally, I’d rather not take the risk. Too much to lose. I’m known to be serious & stoic & more rational than emotional, but whatever….. being this way has saved me from a lot of trouble. Now, meeting someone for a long-term relationship is a bit of a different story, but even then I’d be extremely careful. 😐