Solo Travel to Chile: torn between two values

If you read everything that has been posted previously with a neutral eye, the answer is: cancel. Reschedule. There will be another time, another day to visit.

I can imagine how difficult it is being divided as you are. There are lots of good reasons to go to Chile, and lots of good reasons to stay at home. I might be wrong but I believe that the question already contains the answer. You feel uncomfortable, and that’s an excellent reason not to leave. Like me you believe that traveling is one of the most beautiful experiences one can have, and this means feeling lighthearted and full of enthusiasm for the forthcoming journey. This is not the case, Janice. You’ll have plenty of time to visit Chile in the future. But now, your heart is at home.

Hi Janice

I encourage you to not make this a decision about your children. Make it about you and what you need, what would be useful in your life.

As I read your post and the comments, here are a couple of thoughts from an experienced life transition coach:

-Have you ever experienced a major natural disaster or environmental trauma scenario before? If so, what was the long-term impact of that experience on you? If not, how do you tend to react to dirt, putrid smells, lots of noise and being in the presence many, many people in deep
emotional distress? Can you even imagine how you might respond?

-What’s your capacity for being around people and animals who are in distress but whom you can’t help? (some people don’t get hooked, others torment themselves by their impotency -pay attention to cues from day-to-day living: do you have a history of rescuing injured cats, dogs, squirrels; if you see a crying child how difficult is it for you to pass by? your responses to those kinds of situations reveal a lot)

-Have you considered the language dynamics. I don’t think you speak a lot of Spanish so what do you think it’ll be like for you to try to process your emotional responses to awful situations in a context where you might not have access to fluent English speakers? I’m sure you’d do just fine in making yourself useful, it’s the deep emotional ‘aftershocks’ within yourself to what you’d have to deal with that interests me.

-How long after you return home are you prepared to have your life disrupted? I know and work with a lot of folks in the International Development field and each of them has had to develop their own way of dealing with the culture shock that is the norm for their work. Those who end up in disaster situations often have many of their assumptions about themselves and the world shaken up and it can take a prolonged time upon returning home for them to find stability and equanimity again.

These might be some good things to consider as your week unfolds. There aren’t any ‘right’ answers. There really aren’t even any answers you’ll know for certain unless you have the experience. But sometimes just honestly considering the question provides the best answer for you at this time.

One last point, my dear. A natural disaster of this magnitude is going to have long-lasting implications for Chile. If you don’t go now, you may find that there’ll be opportunities to participate in the longer term reconstruction and reclaiming of lives that will last for years. This is not an ‘opportunity to help’ window that is going to slam shut quickly!

My thoughts are with you as you make this decision.

Gwen

I was wondering how this would affect your plans, even though I didn’t realize the trip was coming up quite so soon. I would be torn, too. Good luck with your decision.

That is quite a dilemma and frankly I don’t know what I would do. My question is: Why were you going in the first place? Have you been there before? Were you going for pleasure or business? Is the place you were planning on staying in still standing. Please take EVERYTHING into consideration before hopping on that plane.

Think it through and you’ll come up with the right answer or the right reason for going or not going. Joei

Ask your children and have a discussion about it. Make it a group decision.
I can certainly understand your dilemma, as my children lost their dad, too. Since they are grown, I have consulted with them and they really help and encourage me to LIVE my life just as I have taught them to do. Good luck and please let us know what you decide!