Posted on February 5, 2010 - by Janice
Solo Traveler’s Valentine’s Day Confession
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I have had second, third and fourth thoughts about this piece but, I got myself committed so I lay my situation before you. Please be kind.
Confession time. While I love to travel solo — it is enriching, satisfying, exciting, unpredictable, rewarding… — I would prefer to travel through life not-so-solo.
I was contacted recently by a journalist putting together a story on solo travel for Valentine’s Day. “How progressive,” I thought. She wanted exotic escapes that people take, just for themselves. I offered my post “Falling In Love in the Lake District“. It was truly the most romantic place that I have ever taken myself. She was happy with the contribution and I started thinking:
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- What about Valentine’s Day 2010?
- Is it important?
- Does a manufactured “special” day count for anything?
- Do I really care what I do on Valentine’s Day?
Another Valentine’s Day Solo.
My conclusion: Valentine’s Day is not a stab in the heart but a pinch on the arm. It’s a superficial flesh wound on the quest for true love. Yes, that feeling of “missing” someone special is a little heightened on Valentine’s Day but it’s not a “couch & carbs” crisis.
And maybe, just maybe, Valentine’s Day presents an opportunity.
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- Are there men out there feeling the same little “pinch”?
- And do some of them like travel? (I don’t always travel alone.)
- Is Valentine’s Day an opportunity for the unmatched as well as the matched?
The plan.
Unlike those the journalist is writing about, I won’t be traveling this Valentine’s Day. Just back from Utah and the Sundance Film Festival and just before my trip to Chile, I will face this special day in my home town, Toronto. So I Googled “single Valentine’s day Toronto”, looked for the event of greatest interest to me and booked.
On Valentine’s Day, I’m going to an event for singles by The Works. It’s called “A Special Valentine’s Day Aphrodisiac and Wine Affair” – oh my!
On the February 14th weekend, I’ll let you know how it goes. And I’ll share a wonderful video I’ve found that explains our need for romantic love.
P.S. Should I find a new partner for my life, he will have to accept the fact that I take off now and then to travel solo.
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February 7, 2010
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Lori said:
Yes, I remember the post
and the wishes remain! Have a great day and amazing adventures!
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February 7, 2010
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admin said:
Hi Lori, Many thanks for your thoughtful comment. I totally agree. There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. I wrote a post on this topic: “What is lonely? And why don’t I feel so when I travel alone?“
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February 7, 2010
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Lori said:
Your post reminded me of a friend who is married but not so happy. It is not my place to judge her, but I see the situation in many couples: there are two persons (for social conveniences, because it is easier this way to pay for everything etc.) but each one of those two members of the couple is indeed alone. And this loneliness is worst because they don’t even try to give themselves the chance to find that perfect person for them.
Coming back to your article I must admit that I think that lonely is also a state of mind. And I don’t see it at you
I truly hope you dreams will come true sooner rather than later and of course I hope to always find interesting info regarding solo traveling
So in the end, all that matters is for each to have a perfect day – and that I wish it to you too: for each day to be simply perfect!
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February 7, 2010
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Dave and Deb said:
I am not even single and I want to go to that “A Special Valentine’s Day Aphrodisiac and Wine Affair! Wonderful post Janice. It all comes down to…we all love to travel and with or without someone, we are going to do it:) Hopefully your man will love to travel with you and then give you the space to travel solo when you want. Happy Valentines and have a glass of wine for me!
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February 6, 2010
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JJ (RVing Toadless) said:
I like JoAnna’s comment. Right now I’m not planning to RV on Valentines Day, but if I were, I would be saying, “I can travel solo!”
Solo or partnered, neither is better than the other. Each has advantages and disadvantages. It’s just a lifestyle choice, nothing more.
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February 6, 2010
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admin said:
It’s true. One never knows what’s next. And the more you’re out there the more surprises there are. Have fun with your new/old flame!
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February 6, 2010
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Joei Carlton Hossack said:
I too am traveling solo through life as well as a solo RVer. I recently connected with an old flame (after a 47 year hiatus). It’s one of the joys of traveling. You never know who or what is around the next bend in the road.
Have a great day. Joei
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February 6, 2010
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JoAnna said:
I don’t think traveling solo is necessarily a selfish decision or a way to thumb our nose at those who just don’t think it’s possible – you know: “See, I can travel solo so I do.” While traveling solo can be rewarding, and in many cases, a choice we make because we enjoy it so much, I understand and appreciate the desire to travel with other people. I think your post about Valentine’s Day as a solo travel shows an important side to the solo traveler: Sometimes we do it out of necessity and many times we make the choice to do it, but that doesn’t mean don’t want a little company every now and again.
I’m looking forward to reading your post about your wine and dine V-day evening. Have fun!
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February 6, 2010
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admin said:
Absolutely, when in love, every day with that person is special.
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February 6, 2010
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waitinginthedark said:
What a nice post, Janice. I like to read ‘confessions’, it gives a personal touch that always moves me. Because behind every story, there is a person.
I feel very close to you: traveling solo many times, but wishing not to be so solo in my everyday life. And in the recent years, even when I was in a relationship I always kept some time and space for myself and my passions. Because I’m pretty convinced that love is not about sharing everything. There’s a time for sharing, and a time to do things separately. It’s incredibly enriching.
Coming to Valentines, I will do as I always did: normal life, cause it’s a normal day. I don’t like things that are imposed from outside, and even less when they are clearly based on commercial purposes and social tags. Valentine? No thanks. When I love someone every day is special.
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February 6, 2010
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admin said:
Whether it’s Valentine’s Day or some other significant occasion, sharing is an important part of living. On these special days, sharing with loved ones is my priority. On travels, sharing with strangers is my high.
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February 6, 2010
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Peter Dudley said:
Janice,
I enjoyed your Valentine’s article. While I have never been alone on Feb. 14, I did spend Thanksgiving by myself in Bosnia two years ago. As I was in a Muslim part of the country, I was not able to have a traditional Canadian turkey dinner. Nor did I have a traditional Bosnian meal. I ended up having pizza by myself in the only restaurant I could find that was open!
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February 6, 2010
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Deborah Williams said:
I had a lot of fun at the ultra club with the works. I look forward to hearing about the valentines day one!
Have a gracious day Deborah