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The Solo Traveler Blog

The Rewards of Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone

photo, image, red arrow diner

The Red Arrow Diner has been serving homemade food for 90 years.

I love solo travel.

Full stop.

But I am not, by nature, an extrovert.

When I hear other travelers talking about all of the people that they have met, I don’t have a lot to add to the conversation. At home, I have lots of friends and a busy social life. But when I am traveling, I can easily go for days without talking to anyone other than in the course of ordering lunch or buying tickets or asking for directions. It’s not that I’m afraid, or not enjoying myself. I am soaking up every moment, taking everything in, looking, listening, reading, tasting, smelling…but I am a bit shy.

On a recent trip to New Hampshire, I decided it was time to shake things up. My inspiration? Janice’s Chili Cheese Omelet Opener.

The Red Arrow Diner in Manchester, New Hampshire is an institution. Voted one of the top ten diners in America by USA Today, the Red Arrow has been in operation since 1922. Presidents, actors, newscasters…  all manner of celebrities have walked through their doors. Their photos and autographs cover the walls in this surprisingly tiny restaurant with the surprisingly large menu. It is a regular stop for politicians: 95% of the candidates in the last US Primary visited the Red Arrow. The actor Adam Sandler, a Manchester native, has a plaque on his favourite seat. He is even recreating the diner on the set of his next film.

photo, image, macaroni, cheese

The Mac ‘n’ Cheese Special.

As I sat pondering the lengthy menu, I remembered Janice’s advice to ask a local to order for you. This being my first time, I was a bit clumsy and nervous. Rather than really striking up a conversation, I pointed at the plate sitting in front of the man at the next table and said “I’m going to order that.”

“You should,” he replied. “It’s great.”

And that was the end of it.

Clearly, this was not going according to plan. My meal arrived, and it was delicious. Wonderfully, awfully, delicious. The kind of dish that you know you want, but really shouldn’t have. It was Mac ‘n Cheese. Not just any Mac ‘n Cheese, though. It also contained spicy chicken tenders. And was smothered in extra cheese sauce. Oh boy. I now know why the Red Arrow was featured on The Food Network. So good.

photo, image, diner

I went off in search of the washrooms. As it turns out, there is only one toilet in the entire place. It’s in the kitchen. So while you’re waiting to use it, you stand among staff preparing food and washing dishes. It’s a little awkward. But it certainly makes it easy to strike up a conversation with others in line. And the man who inspired my choice of entree happened to be ahead of me.

We began talking about what brought us there and where we were from. It turned out that we lived within an hour of each other in Ontario. What’s more, his traveling partner lived in the same small town as my mother. What are the odds? When his friend appeared, we began to chat about places or people we might have in common. And then he said… “You wouldn’t be Paul’s daughter, would you?”

My heart stopped. My father has been dead for a decade, and I still miss him every single day. What an amazing situation: I had stepped outside of my comfort zone to speak to total strangers, and discovered that we were linked in this extraordinary way. I had traveled to another country, to a famous and storied diner, and met someone who had known the most important man in my life. Surrounded by all of this history, now intertwined with my personal history, I was overcome.

photo, image, mug

Luckily, the line had moved and it was my turn, so I had an opportunity to collect myself. I returned to my table with a big smile on my face, and wished the travelers well as they continued on their journey.

I discovered a few things about myself and about solo travel on this trip. I learned that you don’t have to follow the Chili Cheese Omelet Opener strategy to a “t” in order to strike up a conversation with a stranger in a restaurant. I learned that there is no friendlier place than New Hampshire to meet people. I discovered that I can push myself to be more outgoing when I travel, and thoroughly enjoy it. And I learned that sometimes when you take a risk and step outside yourself, beautiful moments can happen.

Thank you to New Hampshire Travel and Tourism for making this trip possible.

 

 

Related posts:

  • http://www.solotravelerblog.com/ Tracey Nesbitt

    That’s great! I agree-even though I fumbled it the first time, I’m sure it will get easier with practice. 

  • Mark

    I used that opener yesterday too at a street stand! It didnt go anywhere that particular instance, but still good for practice and getting in the groove to just use it naturally all the time!

  • http://www.solotravelerblog.com/ Tracey Nesbitt

    When you travel, you can be whoever you want to be-maybe it’s easier to try on different behaviors when you’re away from home?

  • http://www.solotravelerblog.com/ Tracey Nesbitt

    Positive reinforcement, for sure.

  • http://www.solotravelerblog.com/ Tracey Nesbitt

    Thanks, Gray!

  • http://solofriendly.com Gray

    What a terrific story, Tracy!

  • http://traveldestinationbucketlist.com/ Anita Mac

    It’s a small world out there!  Amazing that he knew your father.  It was meant to be that the first time you stepped out of your comfort zone, someone who knew your family would be the one you spoke too!  Very cool.

  • http://twitter.com/PopandGoKnicker Aurora Tyas

    I live in the UK (but I’m Corsican) and people are real bad at making conversation with strangers. Never seen an underground quite so quiet but in London! However when travelling I find the Brits change dramatically into talk-to-everyone machines. Very weird.

  • TraceyN

    Aw, shucks, Mom…  ;)

  • TraceyN

    Lovely!

  • TraceyN

    Thanks, Carol! You have a lot to be proud of. I will not forget my visit to the Red Arrow.

  • TraceyN

    Thanks, Noushin!  :)

  • Donnalnesbitt

    Great post Tracey! Brought tears to my eyes. He was the most important man in my life also, and will always be.
    Luv Ya!!

  • lee hometoitaly.com

    i have added YOU to my list of USA places to see…

  • lee hometoitaly.com

    brava

  • Vicki

    My mother was 85 the first time I took her to the Red Arrow.  She had seen the fire at the Red Arrow on Elm Street many years ago, and had been at the Red Arrow Cafeteria on DW Highway. But not this one.  They rang the “virgin” bell for her and applauded and gave her 2 “Virgin at the Red Arrow Diner” stickers! Such great excitement for a woman her age. I struck up a conversation with the man sitting next to me and discovered he was married to an old friend of mine from grammar school!

  • Carol

    hello!!!
    i am the owner of the diner… my name is Carol Sheehan. i am so sorry I was not able to meet you as i had another commitment..
    thank you so much for your writing ! what a truly fun and inspirational article. it makes me proud to be the owner.
    carol
    PS: the bathroom is a little quirky!! but its what makes the red arrow so unique!

  • Noushin Zamanpour

    Great story, thanks for letting us know about this diner in New Hampshire.
    Thanks for sharing your private moments with us and I admire you for stepping outside of your comfort zone, good for you.

  • TraceyN

    Thank you. I would definitely recommend visiting the Red Arrow. And you must try their homemade version of twinkies, called Dinah Fingers!

  • TraceyN

    Thanks! I’ve never heard of chilli cheese in a can-but this was definitely not it.  ;)

  • TraceyN

    It is indeed. Merci!

  • TraceyN

    Haha! They have been around for 90 years, so I’m sure it’s all safe and inspected. But it was definitely quirky!

  • TraceyN

    Thank you.  :)   It was pretty incredible.

  • TraceyN

    It certainly is. Thank you!

  • TraceyN

    It really was good!

  • Ashley Quinn

    What an awesome story!! Who would have thought this all possible in New Hampshire? It is amazing that you were able to share very special memories about your father with strangers in a different country. Thanks so much for sharing!!!

  • zordan1

     Hi!
    Your blog is very nice and I already follow you
    and I wait visit. This is my travel website please visit my website http://www.thefastgateway.com

  • Mediacide

    Excellent story, well-written, clever twist, nonetheless I can’t stop thinking that I am glad I live in a country where public toilets in kitchens are illegal due to hygiene orders :-)

  • genesaisquoi

    fabulous post and yay for steppin ‘out! it’s a good reminder too that life is full of unexpected little pockets of magic like that sometimes. merci :)

  • http://www.imnothome.com/ Maddy @ I’m Not Home

    Just a few weeks ago, on an Indian train, I met a girl from my hometown, who had dated one of my best friends… that saying about it being a small world really is true.  Thanks for your heartwarming story, it’s sure to encourage others out of their shells.  

    Oh, and I love your “chilli cheese opener” too, although until I clicked on the link I could only think of a can opener and tinned chilli cheese!  My warped mind…

  • Elizabeth Verwey

    Wow – what an inspiring story! I love it! It reminds me that the world is a magical place. And, I do love New Hampshire! Never been to this diner – but have written it in my travel notebook. Thanks for sharing this…

  • Ashalah

    Wow it’s incredible just how small this world can be! What a great story (and now I really want that Mac and cheese!!)

  • Susan

    Wow, small world moments amaze and fascinate – you just never know. It is so worth ‘risking’ conversation.

  • Simonemarie

    Great post Tracey!!  Very touching.  Small world indeed.

About Janice Waugh and Tracey Nesbitt

I'm an author, blogger, speaker and traveler. I became a widow and empty-nester at about the same time. And then, I became Solo Traveler... Here's the full story. >>

Tracey Nesbitt I’m a writer, editor, food and wine fanatic, and traveler. On my very first trip abroad I learned that solo travel was for me. Here's the full story. >>

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