Posted on September 10, 2009 - by Guest
Recommended: Travel solo to still the anger.
Keith is a thirty-something based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. Travel and writing are his biggest passions. He’s traveled extensively across 60+ countries on five continents and knows first-hand how enriching traveling alone can be. You can read more about his adventures on his blog, the Velvet Escape.
Solo Seagul on Whitehaven Beach
Janice invited me to write an article for her lovely ‘Recommended…’ series not so long ago. To be honest, I had no clue what to write about. That was until I saw the movie ‘Pretty Woman’ (for the umpteenth time) on tv. Richard Gere and Julia Roberts were lying in the tub and she was sponging him (the stuff of many people’s dreams, I guess 
and he told her about his traumatic childhood and how angry he was with his father. “I was very angry with him. It cost me ten thousand dollars in therapy to say that sentence…I was very angry with him!”. That got me thinking. Instead of spending all that money sitting on a therapist’s couch, he could have spent it on a long, soul-searching solo trip to discover, accept and find a way to deal with his anger issues, and he would have had the time of his life doing it as well!
The best thing about solo travel is that it can be anything you want it to be, because, ultimately, everything you do is totally up to you. It can be rehabilitative, healing, reflective, cheap, luxurious, serious or just plain unadulterated fun. It can even be a mix of all these. It all depends on the experience you want out of it and if you want to take this opportunity to discover yourself or challenge your boundaries.
I can certainly relate to Edward’s (Richard Gere’s character in the movie) anger issues. I had my fair share. 
Like Edward, they were borne from my adolescence. I never paid much attention to them. Instead, I unconsciously used my deep-rooted anger as a platform to fire me forward. Anger can work wonders on your drive and ambition, and really get you places. Well, that’s until the big man with the sledgehammer comes around and thumps you on the head. You see, anger can only get you so far and if it’s not recognised as a driving force and dealt with, it can rear its ugly head and the consequences can be disastrous. I was lucky. Fate intervened and the man with the sledgehammer, who was approaching me fast, slowly retreated. I was on the verge of a serious burn-out but I was offered an opportunity to leave the company, and I did. That’s when I planned my five-month solo trip.
One of the things I endeavoured to do was look back at the elements and experiences that had shaped me. Anger was certainly one of them. I knew that, when it came to my anger issues, I would have to deal with them or they would consume me. Travelling alone was the perfect opportunity to really get down to the nitty-gritty of my past and face up to it. I was alone so I certainly had the time and space, and there was no one around to distract me.
I figured I would have to do two things: look inward to analyse my thoughts and feelings; and look outward to relativate them. Looking outward meant meeting new people, talking with and learning from them. It also meant listening to them without being judgemental. That way, I could easily gain new perspectives and insights from them.
I remember sitting on the soft sands of the stunning Whitehaven beach in Queensland, Australia and staring at the gorgeous turquoise water and thinking about where my anger stemmed from and what it had done for me. I knew where it came from. That much was clear. But what did I have to do to come to terms with it? I walked off the beach into the cool crystal clear water. I felt the warm rays of the sun on my face and the silky cool water lapping around my knees, and I knew it. Earlier that day, I had a lengthy chat with a Frenchman who was an aerospace engineer on a sabbatical. He was more or less in the same boat: he was close to a burn-out and he decided to take a year off. He came to Australia and after a few months, he knew what he wanted to do. He was an avid diver and he decided to make it his business. He chose to follow his heart.
That was the clue I needed! As I stood there, at the edge of the beach, I realised that I had to replace the anger-charged drive within me with a drive fuelled by passion. The anger that had driven me had brought me many rewards and recognition but now, it was time for a different drive, one that was positive, sustainable and straight from the heart. I was so thrilled with this insight, I treated myself to a fabulous seafood meal at one of Airlie Beach’s best restaurants as soon as I returned to the mainland.
Edward spent ten thousand dollars to admit to a therapist that he was angry. I spent my money traversing the world, getting some of the most profound insights along the way in some of the most stunning places on this planet. Somehow, admitting “Yes, I’m angry” on the soft sands of Whitehaven beach is more appealing to me than saying it in a therapist’s chair.
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December 3, 2009
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velvetescape said:
Hi Fida,
I guess I’m lucky to have realised I had some anger issues and that I had to deal with them.
Thanks for your kind comment. You’re right, there are many angry people out there – I’ve met my fair share of them too.
Travelling alone for that lengthy amount of time really worked for me and I hope others will give it a try some time to experience its therapeutic benefits.
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December 3, 2009
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Fida said:
Hi Keith,
Then again, they didn’t really travel alone – mostly in groups, until they got thrown out but then looked right away for other fellow travelers. Maybe if they really had traveled alone like you said, they’d finally would have come to terms with their anger because nobody else would have been there to blame. Great article! And so glad you found what your calling!
You are a very wise man. I don’t know how many angry people would be able to even recognize that they are angry, let alone deal with it. I met so many angry people on my travels that I think they should have taken the “Edward road” first
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September 19, 2009
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Terry said:
Hello
I was wondering about travelling around Thailand and Philippines best places to see 3 weeks vacation all sugestions welcomed
Thanks
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September 14, 2009
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Nigel Skelchy said:
Hey Keith…very very good, insightful article. It’s amazing that you write this at a time when I’m coming out of my anger issues. Where it came from, what to do about it, and how to express it healthily. Its almost like life is a series of steps upward into the light and this is the latest one up the stairway to…enlightenment?
But I can relate and it certainly feels like the beginning of a new phase of your life doesn’t it? 
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September 14, 2009
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Alf and Liz said:
Nice article Keith.I totally agree with your sentiments re: Spending the money in a more productive way than talking to a shrink.Lo and behold you turn up on our Whitehaven Beach. We can’t think of many places on earth that can calm the savage breast than this one.
You must come back and visit Liz and I at Shute Harbour one day mate.
Heres til then. ‘Clink’
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September 11, 2009
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Sandy Salle said:
Hi Keith & Janice – this is a wonderful post and comes straight from your heart, so honest and open and, like many of your comments above endorse, which many of us (including me) relate to.
When single and living in London I used to temp my way through travel, ie. working for 3 months, traveling for 3 months. I had a passion for traveling, and still do. This post reminded me of how much I love traveling.
Thank you for such a lovely written post.
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September 10, 2009
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Lisa at Wanderlust Women said:
Hi Keith, great article. I always travel alone and getting rid of lots of stuff is always on the tour agenda. Glad you’re on a positive path and did you take that beautiful beach photo? How could anyone be angry there?
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September 10, 2009
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Keith Jenkins said:
Thank you so much Janice for the opportunity to contribute this article. it’s a topic that has been on my mind for a while and you’ve provided me with a perfect outlet! I wrote this article last week during a very rough time (due to my Dad’s illness). In a sense, writing it was very therapeutic.
Sadly, my Dad passed away yesterday. I would like to dedicate this article to him because he always followed his passions. I now see why and how he’s lived such a rich, fulfilling life and that to me is the greatest inspiration.
Best regards,
Keith
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September 10, 2009
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@gotpassport said:
Not only was I moved by your insightful article, but able to relate to your experience on some level. I am certain there will be many others who can relate to it as well.
I imaging writing about it and sharing it are just as liberating and therapeutic as well. Thanks so much for revealing and allowing others to learn from your own learning experiences.
be well!
aye
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September 10, 2009
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JoAnna said:
This is a beautiful story Keith, one that I think many people can relate to.
My favorite part of your post is this: “I realised that I had to replace the anger-charged drive within me with a drive fuelled by passion. The anger that had driven me had brought me many rewards and recognition but now, it was time for a different drive, one that was positive, sustainable and straight from the heart.”
If we were all propelled by our passion rather than our need to please, the world would be a very different place indeed.