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The Solo Traveler Blog

A Message to Young Solo Travelers

I didn’t see it coming. I don’t know why. I should have.

My youngest son had just about every one of his July birthdays on the road. At two, he was headed west and celebrated at a Swiss Chalet in Thunder Bay. At three, I poached him a cake on a Coleman stove at a campsite in Newfoundland. His 5th was in the south of France. At 11, we actually took him out of school for a year to travel.

You get the idea. He was raised to travel. I now blog on solo travel. Why I didn’t see a solo trip on the horizon, I do not know. But then I heard it. His announcement: I’m planning to travel solo.

single-guy-paris-bike

Is youth a factor for solo travel?

My son is not quite 19. I had to think back. When was my first solo trip? 28. Hmm, big difference. He was raised on travel. Was I? No. This, I believe, is an even bigger difference. This, and his natural good sense, gives me confidence in him as a solo traveler.

But trust me, since he announced his intentions, I’ve had my ‘yikes’ moments. He has a few things to put into place before he goes so I have time to adjust to all this but it has made me stop and think: what does he – and every young traveler – need to know as they set out solo?

Focus on the important safety issues.

What I think he needs to know and what he wants to know may be two different things. What’s most important to me is his safety. But, to most people his age, that’s easy. What’s most important to him is living life large!

As a parent, if I want to communicate something that is important to me, and be heard, I need a strategy.

 

Approach #1: talk about what’s important to him and hope that I can slide in my message.
Approach #2: get his attention by acting out of character.
Approach #0: suggest that he read my post of 50 safety tips. He won’t. 

So I sat down and thought about what I really need him to hear. What’s critical. What’s at the very root of safety. Here’s what I came up with:

 

The safety of your person is all that really matters.
o    Money can be replaced.
o    Opportunities will arise again.
o    You don’t have to be polite.
o    You can be selfish and serve your needs first. 

As I wrote these I realised that I’m asking him to break just about every rule he was raised on. That’s out of character for me. Maybe this is something he will hear.

A message to my son, and all kids, traveling solo

“When traveling solo, you are a leader of one – you. Choose your own path. Have a fabulous time. Your only responsibility is to be safe. If this means losing your money, missing an opportunity, being rude or acting selfish, you have my blessing.”

Naturally, as the preparations are made, there will be occasions to speak to the small details of safety like regular communication, keeping your passport secure, how to carry money, that public places are safer than private… but the key issue of being aware of and caring for personal safety would hopefully have been communicated with this ‘break the rules’ message.

Words of inspiration from Dr. Seuss

Ultimately, I’m thrilled with the idea of my son traveling solo. While Dr. Seuss wrote this poem for a graduating class, it clearly expresses my enthusiasm for youth going out and exploring the world.

Oh the Places You’ll Go! 

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.

… the poem continues and is wonderful.

 

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  • http://solotravelerblog.com Janice Waugh

    I can see this from both your mother’s and your point of view. Traveling is so wonderful. Read the safety articles too and tell your Mom that you do and she should feel a lot better. Have a wonderful time in South Korea.

  • Anonymous

    I read your blog alot (via the FB page) but this is the first time Ive seen this particular article. I want to send it to my mom! Im 23 and been traveling overseas and domestically (US) since I was 19. First couple times when I went overseas it waa with a group (2 study abroads) but the domestic trips I made around the same time were fairly solo (traveled alone but met up with people I knew in those places eventually). Then I devided

  • http://solotravelerblog.com Janice Waugh

    Thanks for commenting and good luck on your South America trip. Fabulous countries! I have much more ground to cover there but, if you use the search box on the upper right of the blog, you will find posts on Chile. The one on Patagonia is recommended by Chilean Tourism so check it out.

  • http://solotravelerblog.com Janice Waugh

    Wow. That was an adventure. Lots of learning there. Please read the safety section of my blog and good luck on your next trip!

  • Pingback: A Message to Young Solo Travelers « Rocky Mountain Travel Security Blog

  • me-self

    i have just coming back form my solo adventure..as it was planned, i supposed to be traveling in Indonesia for 2 weeks. i was excited even-thought my dad wasn’t give me permission on that. and my mom had to lie to him on behave of me.

    my first day in Pekanbaru was nothing but sleep. it was raining all day. i always bring instant food in my trip because i want to save money. just as soon as i check in the hotel (110 000 rupiah/night) I’ve put my bag on the floor, as i was coming back from the toilet, my backpack left pocket was teared apart and all the food was on the floor half eaten by the rat. it was upsetting moment as well as funny. a few hours after that (after i tidy up the mess), i went to food stall to have my only meal at that day. as i was eating there on my own, i was approached by the stall owner. he asked me who am i with and where i was staying. i told him that i was staying in the front hotel and i was waiting for my friend to come over at night (i just followed the advice I’ve read in the Lonely Planet Indonesia book, to tell whoever ask me who am i with and answered that I’m waiting for my friend). and it was a bit bizarre as i was asked by the locals the same question over and over. the whole night that day, i cant sleep. even if i did, i was sleeping and thinking at the same time. it gave me headache. the hotel was so quite. as quite as grave. it scared me actually. i can hear foot steps, even if people whispered, it did sounds clear to me. the next morning, i check out so early in the morning. i hand the key and went back to the food stall in front of the hotel. just like yesterday, the owner asked me the same question and this time he expect me to tell the truth. after seeing him so determine to know, i told him that i was alone the whole day yesterday, and today im leaving to bukittinggi to meet my friend there (another lie). then he look shocked and he told me i wasn’t supposed to stay there because it was a prostitute hotel. all the guy that asked me yesterday was my potential client (that how he addressed those guy..yukkksss). i was terrified thinking what they thought of me. but since i was still in one piece and safe i should be okay. at least that what i was thought.

    then the trafel (mini van for interstate destination) arrived. it was only me and the driver. as we talk, the driver asked me the same stupid question. who am i with since he know where i stayed last night. i told me the same lie. then he look at me with that scary look and the told me that i have a great body and how he wished he could touch me. i was just quite and didn’t even look at him. i swear in myself, if he even dare to put his finger on me, i will jump out of the trafel and book a fly back home ticket. fortunately he did nothing for thank god. then came in the other passengers. 2 decent looking guys and 2 moms with babies. i was relief. along the way to bukittinggi, it was high level flood and raining non-stop. the journey that was supposed to take 4 hours to bukittinggi became 7hours journey. then the driver was receive phone call from his friend telling him about the earth quake in acheh and jakarta. high level flood and land slide. despite all the problem, i still make it to bukittinggi and book more decent look and expensive hotel. it was located just near the marapi mount (most active volcano in sumatera island). same as my night in pekanbaru, i did sleep only because of the raining and i was arrived at the hotel late at night. i have ordered for room service for my only meal that day. my parents was worried of me after they watched the 7.6 earth quake news and flood. thats how i decide to come back the next morning in padang.i was force to take an emergency fly back ticket because of the weather.

    i woke early that morning. then i opened the window to see the morning view. it was nothing i could see other than fogs and sulfur-like smell. as i was returning the key in the reception table, i asked one of the staff about the weather, they told me that, minor volcano explosion happened last night. it was normal because of the earth quake. at that time i know that i really have to fly back or my parents will admitted into the hospital by heart attack. along the way to padang, there was land slide, and raining, but i like the taxi driver. he was so cool and fun. whenever i asked him why is that water coming down from the hill like that. he will tell me with nothing but with calm face that i was near to collapsed rock. it was not there. i was from the earth quake yesterday etc..etc..then i arrived at padang save and sound. i bought the ticket and now im at home.

    everybody was laugh at me because of my extremely short adventure. but its okay. i have already book another ticket to vietnam-china-macau-thailand. i plan to do it solo. finger cross on that. cant wait for another adventure. even this time was really short, but it didn’t failed to teach me.

  • Stc

    Love it! Sharing this with my parents as I am in my thirties and they are already worrying about my upcoming solo South American adventure! But, it’s because of how they raised me that I can do this. I think parents forget that it was their great influence that made us ‘kids’ independent and adventurous, you and my parents included. Thanks for the post. And that Seuss quote…one of my favorites!

  • JJ (RV Toadless)

    Love it! Even though I didn’t travel solo until I was 26 (and I had to move 3,000 miles away before my Mom quit having fits), I can’t imagine traveling any other way!

  • http://www.authenticseacoast.com Authentic Seacoast Resorts

    Beautiful post and advice.

  • http://www.lodjee.com Jean

    Fantastic. I was 18 when I first traveled alone. Now in my 50′s guess what! I am at it again and I too have encouraged my daughter, who is now a seasoned traveler to do the same. We plan to meet in a range of exotic locations during the course of 2011.

  • Kathryn

    Technically my first solo trip was when I was 17 and decided I would get a lot more out of my month in Spain if I ditched the school program I was in and started traveling on my own. But that short experience in relatively safe Spain was merely a baby step to what I consider my first REAL adventure. When I was 18 I saved all my money to go to Costa Rica for a month. At the end of the month I was broke and suppose to come home to start college. Well, I deferred instead and found a job in the small town I had been living in, saved my money and started busing my way north to Colorado as soon as I could afford it. I took 6 months to get home passing through Nicaragua, Honduras, Guatemala, and Mexico. I was traveling solo yes, but I never was really alone. I met amazing people, friends I will keep in touch with for the rest of my life. I learned more on that journey than any of my friends that were back in the states going to universities. It changed the rest of my life. It shaped who I am today and the person I am currently becoming. I have now been back in Denver for almost a year working full time to save for my next adventure. In 3 weeks I leave for South America and I plan to be there for about 2 years. I’m going alone and I wouldn’t do it any other way. My parents worry sick about me while I’m traveling, but honestly they’re parents so they worry sick about me even when I live only ten minutes away, and despite all the worry they’re very supportive of me and it makes all the difference. Besides I’m 20 now and completely financially independent and funding all my travels on my own so they really can’t put their foot down. People all the time think I must be crazy and my parents as well, but the was I see it is like this: If I were a parent I would much rather have a 20 year old that I’m confident can travel the world on her own and take care of herself than the ever too common 25 year old that’s still living in mom and dad’s basement that still can’t manage to do her own laundry. So have a little faith in your son and don’t try to push all your advice on him because honestly it’s not going to make much of an impression on him. Don’t try to influence his travels too much because this is HIS experience and for him to get the most out of it as possible he needs to look at it all from HIS perspective not yours. And all your “be safe” advice is very sweet, very maternal…but traveling is about taking risks. And being too safe or too paranoid is no way to travel, or live for that matter.
    http://thetravelersnotebook.com/top-10-lists/10-travel-risks-worth-taking/ I recommend both you and your son check out many of the wonderful articles on this site.

  • admin

    Wow. At 22, that was an adventure. Yes, he’ll be just fine.

  • http://bikehike.com Anny at BikeHike Adventures

    Your son will be fine and I’m sure he’ll have a blast! :) Where is he headed?

    I was 22 when I first travelled on my own and I lived an *extremely* sheltered life where I wasn’t even allowed into my own backyard without adult supervision until I was in high school. I survived just fine on my month across Russia.

  • http://rvingtoadless.blogspot.com/ JJ

    I was 26 before I travelled solo! I tried to take a solo trip when I was 24 and my Mom weasled her way into going. Really upset me.

  • admin

    Thanks for contributing. Yes, it’s hard for parents to let kids go. I know its difficult for me and I raised my kids to travel. If you were sheltered it must have been especially difficult for your mom. But I’m glad she’s now traveling and will hopefully support your future travels.

  • http://www.scorpionsyrup.motime.com Lornadahl

    My first solo travel was at age 23. Being sheltered all my life, I was more of frightened than excited. Prior to this, I had lied to my mum about my destination or objective (data gathering vs. vacation). Man, I was fulfilled to discover the unparalleled joys of [domestic] solo travels!

    I’ve always been happy about my experiences, except for my mum’s lack of support. Eventually, she traveled abroad and probably understood the highs of travel. I noticed she’s changed. She became more accepting of my trips. :)

  • Shae

    I took my first trip when I was 20. I was solo and had never been outside the states. My parents nearly died. But they raised me well over time and gave me their specific, worried advice when the time came. And everything turned out great. You’ve trained him his entire life to be able to do something like this. Have faith in your own abilities as a parent.

  • admin

    It’s so amazing to think of so many young people out traveling. The more we travel the more we appreciate the world and each other. I think this bodes very well for the future.

  • kat calvin

    Don’t worry! I took my first solo trip at 20 and it was fantastic! I’m 25 now and by myself in SE Asia and have met up with tons of 18/19 year olds who are on the road and having a blast! Plus, there are wifi cafes everywhere so we can all keep up with our moms!!

  • admin

    I totally agree. Your friend got it. I hope her son heard — I suspect he did because it’s very concise and, ultimately liberating. Rather than think of 50 ways to stay safe, focus on what you need to keep safe and hopefully the 50 will follow.

  • http://www.nunomad.com Carmen

    I can completely relate to this. About to take off for a year with my 3 (ages 16, 14 and 8) I realize I’m probably planting the seed of a travel bug that someday will take them from me. It’s scary.

    I once had a friend describe her chat with her teenage son about safety. It went something like “there are a lot of problems you could get yourself into that I can help fix but there are others that I can’t fix and you won’t be able to fix either (like damage to your body). Your responsibility is to prevent what is unfixable.” Not the exact words but I thought the message was well put. Good luck to you and your son!

  • admin

    Thanks for the encouragement to both of us!

  • http://boostbusiness.ca Susan

    Heartfelt angst reading this – as I anticipate the inevitability of being in your shoes in a decade or so. So many easy ways to keep in touch and what better resource than Solotraveler for a mom – if he is wise enough to recognize this ( I know he is). However, I believe it is impossible for a mom not to worry. It is all good and it will be an experience of a lifetime – best education money can buy.

  • admin

    Thanks Brian! I think you’re right.

  • http://nodebtworldtravel.com brian from nodebtworldtravel.com

    He’s ready. You trained him for this trip all these years without realizing it.

    I’m a lot older than him and my Mom was worried, so it’s a natural reaction. Just have him keep in close contact with Skype and a light netbook and a rough idea of where he’ll be when.

About Janice Waugh and Tracey Nesbitt

I'm an author, blogger, speaker and traveler. I became a widow and empty-nester at about the same time. And then, I became Solo Traveler... Here's the full story. >>

Tracey Nesbitt I’m a writer, editor, food and wine fanatic, and traveler. On my very first trip abroad I learned that solo travel was for me. Here's the full story. >>

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